It has come to my attention that some think this page is extremely lame.
I admit that the intention here has never matched up with the result.
I was definitely after something far more tasteless and psychotic from the get-go.
Anyway - if you care, please vote here:


VIEW Results

Here are YOUR stories about encounters with:


Tale #1. Submitted by James

"I used to work (& still do freelance) for Rhythm Tech, a percussion instruments company. I got in touch w/ Trey through the Web of Mimicry and said that I would be interested in signing the band as endorsers of our instruments. He & Danny thought it was a good idea & invited a co-worker, Sheckie & I down to the Sno Core show @ Roseland in NYC. Once we got there my co-worker stepped onto the Bungle bus ahead of me and I heard this before I could see anything...

Sheckie: 'Are you Trey?'

Other Voice: 'No, I'm Mike.'

I froze, stepped onto the bus & sure enough, it was Patton...

After that we all introduced ourselves, talked about the shit that the company makes and all that crap, took a few pictures (see attached) & said our farewells before watching the show. He was a really nice guy, along with the rest of the guys. Danny seemed a bit grumpy (only because I asked if they were going to play Mr. Nice Guy...they hate requests).

I hate putting people on pedestals and it may sound completely gay but... I really could have died after that. To meet someone who has such a huge impact on my like is very overwhelming.

The second and last time I met Patton was Backstage at Madison Square Garden (a small club in NYC) when Fantomas were opening for Tool (whom, in my opinion, suck ass live. Good musicianship, lame stage show). I was actually there to hook up with Lombardo, another Rhythm Tech endorser (who is a very outgoing and "normal" person). Mike was passing through to get some food at catering so I stopped him to say hey. He remembered me from our previous meeting and was still a very down to earth individual.

That's it."

-James "Psy" Kocsis

James and Mike
(on the Bungle Bus in NYC)

Tale #2. Submitted by Jake

My name is Jake and my Patton story is a little different because I didn't run into him at a show...he actually ran into me. He stopped at the Chevron I used to work at along the I-5 feeway at Gorman (in a pink suzuki sidekick I think it was), and he walked in up to the cash register that I was working at. I wasn't sure if i was seeing clearly, so when he gave me $ for gas I asked if he was Mike Patton and he casually said "yeah". I freaked out and I showed him all my Mr. Bungle demos that I was listening to that day, and I had him sign a piece of Chevron receipt paper (which I have framed). He went outside to pump his gas (which I gave him a huge discount on, but he didn't even notice) and I played "bloody mary" over the outside intercom. He didn't seem to think it was all that funny though. When he came back in he made himself a coffee (which I also gave him for free), and we talked about the show that he had just played with Fantomas the night before. He also mentioned the he just stopped at Pyramid Lake (which is a few miles before the gas station) to take a swim. After that, I shook his hand and he left. All in all, he was really cool to me and I wish I thought about taking a picture, but I was too excited to think about it until it was too late."

Thanks, Jake! (even though I stole your story from the Caca Volante list and didn't ask permission to post it ...so SUE me for chrissakes...)

Tale #3. Submitted by Michelle from Amsterdam

i met him in 1992, was on my birthday so he wished me a happy birthday
my sister touched his little beard and said he looked great with it, he smiled and thanked her
........sooo sweet....... if i knew he would go to my favorite bar that night i would have gone there to and give him a bear,
but he`s a sweet and simple guy and i would love to meet him again!!!

...my, that was touching. Thanks, Michelle. That one was submitted via the:
Ipecac Message Board
You are welcome to submit yours the same way, if it "Flips Your Fez".

Michelle has since called me an "Arrogant Turd"; A completely unprovoked attack on my character.
She also adds:

"want a real story? mike pooped one night outside at the entrance of the buckingham palace"

I want to hear more tales like this last one.

Tale #4. Submitted by Matthew Rooney

at the first Tomahawk show they ever had, in Pomona, my friend and i got to the show at the Glass House super early, and got to watch the band do their sound check while the opening act (Syrup) was loading in their equipment. later on when it got closer to the show, Mike and Co. walked out and down the street to find where Mike could eat before his show. when they came back, the front door was locked, so he was just standing there waiting for them to get to it to unlock it. i was in the front of the line, so i said: "hey, mike" and he turned to me kind of like he was thinking "uh-oh don't be a jerk", but i just stuck my hand out and said "thanks for coming down here and playing for us tonight" and he shook my hand and said "oh, well thank YOU". my friend who was with me then shook his hand too.

...Thanks, Matthew!

Tale #5. Submitted by Andy from Toronto

My story isn't too special... During the Ottawa Tomahawk show Patton wore his white glove with fake blood on the index finger, after a few songs Patton said "hello we are the Ottawa police department and we will be escorting you out tonight" and he held up his finger and said "don't make me use this!" and then he pointed to a guy behind me with a beard (I was right at the front against the rail) and he said "how about you my bearded friend you want me to use this on you?!" and he asked who else wants it and I raised my arms and he looked at me and went "nahhhh, you're here for Maynard, he'll take care of you later" Then I actually got the chance to meet Tomahawk the next day at the Hamilton show (I drove there right from Ottawa) and Mike and I talked for about 2 minutes. I asked him if he remembered me and he said kinda in a funny high pitched voice and I told him that I was the kid he told to go and get fingered by maynard and he started laughing and told me that he would go easy on me tonight! It was cool cause during the Hamilton show I was also against the rail and he kept on looking at me and making facial gestures to me... it made me smile! He is such a nice man! That's my wonderful story...

He later added:
I totally forgot to add (this:) During the Hamilton show some fans were heckling, Kevin kept on looking at them and flipping them off, eventually Kevin invited them on stage and Mike started chanting "Kevin's got a boyfriend! Kevin's got a boyfriend!" The guys just kept talking trash and refused to come on stage. So all Mike did to reply was show them (and the whole stadium) his pee pee! It was rather interesting due to me being front row and all... I loved hearing all of the Tool fans' comments since they don't really know Mike... it shut them all up good! Go Mike!

Thanks, Andy

Tale #6. Submitted by mypaperheart

2002, tote hotel, melbourne, patton solo......he finishes his set, thanks the gimps in the croud and begins to walk of stage when someone throws a cd case and nails him right between the eyes. he turns around, walks back on stage and says 'since that guy was such an awsome throw, were gonna play one more'. He then went on to play ten minutes of the most hideous sounding headfuck known to tote. yes, he bent the whole croud over and called them suzan that night

...Thanks, mypaperheart! (if you people would like your proper names here, email them to me, with the name to be replaced)

OK, I the bitterness has subsided since I posted the rant below, so here is a very funny tale from Patton's Faith No More days:
(with a Bungle Bonus)

Tale #7. Submitted by Michael

I saw them three times.
The most memorable moment was in 1992 when someone tossed a package of ground coffee on stage
(they had already opened the show with Caffiene)
and Mike opened it and poured the grounds into his mouth
and he continued singing with his face foaming with brown coffee made with his own saliva.
Then the madness began as he was high on caffiene and didn't stop bouncing around on stage
for at least 20 minutes when the band eased into a lower song, Easy.
Good times.

There was also the time that Mr. Bungle kept playing Loverboy's 'Everybody's Working For The Weekend', in 1995.
It was fun the first couple times then the crowd got a little bored and wanted to hear some Bungle tunes, rightfully so.

Thanks, Mike! Good one(s).

Where the hell is YOUR story ?? (& pic, if you have one) HUH??!
Send them to:

Well Fuck A Duck
This thing has ceased to interest me.
The Ipecac Board Moderators of Costly Speech decided that they were the New Gods Of Censorship,
and pulled every thread, every post on this subject for no apparent reason and with NO explanation.

Now, this may have been a source of haha or trite amusement for them, but I lack the spare time.
I spent a few hours of my life in there, and I have a thousand better things to do than have my energies negated.
A big 'FUCK YOU', and A healthy 'STEP the FUCK UP' to whomever is responsible.

The CV Mailing list has shown little or no interest in this concept, so this page will sit and stagnate until I get tired of knowing that it exists.
The whole Patton World seems to have this weird dichotomy of Rabid Interest laced with Utter Apathy.
So I will continue the trend.
Fuck it. To DEATH

(I have since lightened my stance a bit)

BACK To Bungle

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(If you are not already in my frames)